M is for Methotrexate 


This is a hard post for me. So hard, in fact, that it is a day late because I was dragging my feet even writing this.  Thinking or speaking about this medication makes me nauseated to the point of having to distract myself so I don’t get sick.  Truly, I am not exaggerating that this word makes me sick to my stomach. Be that as it may, it is still a medication that I have to take.

Methotrexate is an antimetabolite and antifolate drug.  It is used in treatment of cancer, autoimmune diseases, ectopic pregnancy, and for the induction of medical abortions.  It acts by inhibiting the metabolism of folic acid.

There are tablet forms, which is what I started out on but they wreaked more havoc on my stomach.  There is an injection form, which is what I am on now.  I inject myself every week in the stomach.  I need to correct myself…my husband now injects me because I have lost the ability to do so.  Did my arm get cut off you ask?  Did I lose my ability of sight and can not see my stomach to inject?  No!  I lost the ability mentally and I can not get that needle to pass the barrier of skin.

This medication makes me feel sick in ways that I wish I was not on it.  That being said, I realize that it has helped save my life and I need to start looking at it as survival serum versus the poison I currently view it as.


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